This Is what I need, From a cancer society, if at all possible. My name is Jim. I am a cosurvivor. My wife Deborah has been a survivor of cancer now for 15 years . We have a 15-year-old son, and we live in Taxachusetts another name for Massachusetts, within the 15 years. My wife has had mastectomies and the cancer has came back three times since last time. Unfortunately, was the worst of them all. Although each time was very difficult for us. We managed to stay strong. I've had a good job for 10 of those 15 years with good health insurance that covers all my wife's treatment for almost 2 years ago when the cancer came back the third time her doctor at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute in Boston that she had two to four years to live, because the cancer has spread through her bones. But she would receive treatment and be on medication narcotics arrests of her life. I don't have to tell you each time the cancer came back into our lives had devastating. It was, but I must say, this third time, blew us away. But we remain strong what else can one do but take things one day at a time or tried to hit if need be. We would take it at a minute at a time that day we went home. And we sat down with our son Kenneth and told him what the doctor had told us. We still remained strong, as we could, I've always stood by my wife and will continue to do so. I know what is coming and what things will be like even the further down the road. Although I always hoped to be more prepared for them than I am today. I even tried very hard to be prepared. I had a very good job. Basically, I just wanted to make my wife's life here each day, she has left no matter how many that may be as happy as I possibly could, having a good job. That shouldn't be too hard. Then in November of 2008. My company decided to what ever reason, and excuses they came up with to lay me off. But one thing that I feared the most and I say the most because I already know what the outcome will be with my wife's cancer. I am working on a ! try to d o, as I've spoken of make her last days. Happy as I can, but I knew if I ever lost my job. I would lose my insurance. That was my worst fear that I knew that I would be no longer making money I am not an educated person, nor is my life. I am 50 years old. I am a recovering alcoholic and drug addict, 28 years. Sober and clean. Like I said, I pretty much At to gather pretty good throughout the 15 years. Up to about a year and a half ago, when everything started to hit us at once. We no longer had insurance. My wife's prescriptions, OxyContin oxycodone, just to name a couple. I asked Dana-Farber three or four weeks before I knew it would be losing my insurance I asked them outright. What do we do, what do you do to stop treating her and she dies sooner that is pretty much how I asked them. A lady from Dana-Farber e-mailed me back and told me not to worry. They would continue treating her fantastic. She only receives "only" two types of treatment at Dana-Farber was given to her every three months, intravenously. This is to help prolong the cancer eating away at her bones. We were told this particular treatment would only work for so long one to three years. It lasted almost 2 years, they will still continue to give her this treatment, but they added a second treatment, which we knew they would do once particular treatments stopped doing what they were supposed to be doing. The second treatment consist of a shot once a month. Eventually, she will need other treatments. She takes her medication without the OxyContin and the oxycodone, her whole body aches severely if she coughs too hard. She can crack one of her ribs, and she has done so before. We tried to do what we can to prevent her from getting sick. If she catches a cold. It could turn into something severe like pneumonia a couple of months ago. This did happen, this was a very scary time for us, I have been reaching out for help from different cancer societies everything is politics and money. And I have been getting very upset. ! On top of being very depressed myself, which has only been for about a year and half since everything started falling apart. I used to be able to do everything and anything I could now I as the cosurvivor feel like I'm losing my own health and for this makes my wife and family suffered even more. It's pretty difficult when you so depressed. You can't seem to put 1 foot in front of the other won't know whether or not you are making right decisions I myself was on antidepressants and high blood pressure pills. I stopped taking both prescriptions. I have no choice my wife's prescriptions need to come first and foremost. We were never rich like I said we were two very hard working people who worked very hard to get up to where we are in life today. We live in a nice apartment, which eventually I will no longer be able to afford. And we have a decent car that we keep in good shape, because we have to travel to Boston for her treatment I asked myself why do I have to say as much as I am saying me because I don't want somebody to suggest something that I already know it doesn't work. I've tried so many different things, talking to different people, which still going through problems now with her medications because of us having no insurance. I tried to take care of most of this way in advance. One lady at a cancer society mentioned to us to go to Mass health insurance. You would think something like this would be easy I told her over the phone. I'm at the point where I don't even want to make a phone call, any more this would have been so much easier for me to do before I began getting deeper and deeper into depression and I told her this. If we had somebody working with us. Not looking in the phone book for places for us to go and fill out paperwork. People that know what is available to us and what is not that to me sounded pretty simple. Like I said in the beginning, my biggest concern now is that my wife does not suffer any of her last days. There should be no need for if this is my fault than I ! will dea l with it. If there is no help out there, and that's just the way it is. I think these are very simple questions that I have been looking for the right people to answer particular social worker said she would get back to me. I e-mailed her a few times, about two weeks later she got back to me after one morning I woke up and my wife was gone. And she went to the local hospital to have them help her fill out the Mass health insurance forms. That was four weeks ago yes, four weeks ago. Still no insurance, yet then this lady called me back. And she's given me a place to call that offer financial assistance on medication. fantastic we will do whenever it takes if we qualify so we went to Boston after doctors fill out paperwork. We filled out our pot. We sent it in with a $25 co-pay. We don't even know were accepted yet, and it could take three to four weeks. Wonderful. Then today we finally got what we were waiting for a letter in the mail from Mass health insurance. They wanted us to fill them out again they didn't get them go figure. My wife went back down the hospital where she had them filled out I guess because their computers were broke down. The lady mail them in, the guy at the hospital my wife told me spent about 30 minutes on the phone with them. For them to look through their mail and yes they were there. So they'll do will have to wait another four weeks. That's why I can't stand Massachusetts first of all, every one in Massachusetts has health insurance. Right wrong in the meantime, because my wife can take the pills that were working for her, because we could not afford over $1000 a month. They gave her something else that would only cost us $200. So we took the money out of my son's bank accounts went to Boston and pick them up. My wife takes them for two days in pain still. But now you can add noxious and what ever else, her doctors get together again and give her something else to try methadone. This was good because it only costs $10 we went to Boston. Once again pic! ked it u p. It does not work so my wife was taking like I said OxyContin and oxycodone is 60 mg. Those are the ones that are like $800, along with other medications. it came out to like over $1000 plus she was taking 15 mg during the day. Whenever she needed them to 15 mg or that expensive. So she tells her doctor, how come I can't just take more of the 15 mg low and behold that's what she's doing now. It costs $65 for a hundred, but it seems to be working. Some people may think how can I write all of this or type all of this. While I am not unfortunately because of my education. I cannot spell. I can read, but I can't spell so, long time ago, I invested in some software that helps me do this. So if you find a word that don't belong. I apologize. I don't usually have time to check what it is writing I try to. Now, I would like to just try to tell you what type of help. That I think we need, if it is out there. At first, I definitely wanted support and still do with somebody local that I've tried to find another caregiver. That has knowledge of what's going on a family life when they're dealing with cancer. I know what's going on in our life from inside the point of view, but it would've been nice to have somebody that could be there to help us out at all mean. Clean our apartment or anything like that to be there for that hug when we need it, so emotional support. Understanding and knowing where not a lone I asked for this also. When I was talking to a couple of social workers don't know where that conversation went. But knowing where we live knowing that I've gone from making X. amount of money. Too much much less amount of money. Basically, my wife collect Social Security that pays rent. I collect Worker's Compensation don't know for how long that pretty much covers half of our other bills, Dana-Farber has given us in the past some food cards which was very appreciated. Living in Massachusetts is very high in rent to begin with, and being 50 years old is not easy for me to start over wi! th, what is going on in our life but I know I have to, so somehow I have to get stronger I have a sister that lives in Pensacola Florida and my nephew has a house. He will rent use very cheap and the first tool of three months free until we get settled. He lives in Pennsylvania. He is a minister there. I have a very good possibility of getting a job there. It will not be making it much as I made here that's for sure, but it doesn't matter, because we will be able to afford to live there. This I think would be kind of nice for my wife's last days in life. However, many. She has left and our son can finish his last three years of high school there. Plus we would have my sister who we are both close to helping us through the days ahead. In about a half a year more my wife should also be eligible for Medicare or Medicaid whichever it is i am almost positive I too will have insurance again once I start working. This would be a big move for use but adding up all the good in all the bad it is the right thing to do. To do any of this. I need a hospital that will my wife's treatment in pensacola florida and knowing a situation will be able to help us with some kind of temporary insurance until I get working. Or just do what Dana-Farber is doing with the treatments. She is receiving now this would mean a lock to us. If this was possible. It seems like there is no way of digging ourselves out here. I am hoping that there are some of the same opportunities as far as helping someone who is uninsured, who has been given by a doctor X. amount of time to live but actually be able to do it and not talk about it or say they can. My wife was also supposed to have a CAT scan done every four months. This indicates whether the treatment is continuing to work or not, and it also tells the doctor how much more. And where the cancer is spreading. She is supposed to receive this, along with those two treatments. She was supposed to have a CAT scan done two weeks ago the hospital called and asked us politely. How do ! we inten d to pay for let me see are sons bank account is now empty, by the way I thought would take care of this needless to say, my wife had to cancel the CAT scan. Well, I don't really think there's anything anybody can do out there, but I figured I would post this anyways who knows. I do believe in miracles and God, I know God works through people. Recently I've been getting feelings like that's not the case right now for use so we really don't know what his plan is for us. I don't know what's funs are available out there for use, I do hope there is a way that we can do this. And I also hope that we don't spend all our time looking for a cure, and I hope we can all remember that there are survivors out there in need of help now not later when it is too late I will do anything to help find a cure for this terrible disease that women and men go through mostly women than men but still. It is a terrible disease. I'll walk for a cure for cancer, wear pink like we have and we still do, and we will continue to pray for those who are in the process of losing their fight. Like my wife. You can send any messages you like, to this message board or directly to me it does not matter. I appreciate any advice any insight that anyone has to offer. I am really hoping that someone has to offer, what we are looking for. Thank you so much for reading this, and God bless you roganjfr@comcast.net jim,deb,kenneth